Here in Peep Town
My circus adventures in the midst of San Francisco's criminal mob of homosexual Peeping Toms
One evening I woke up to hear what sounded like an FBI agent arresting a Peepie outside my door in the lobby of my apartment building. The agent was trying hard, unsuccessfully, to convince the Peepie not to resist.
Agent: "We have incontestable evidence against you. We have your signature on the request form [for a controlled substance]. We have a sworn statement confirming that you ordered the release of a toxic substance in a confined space. Why did you do it?"
Peepie: "We weren't sure that we wanted him to publish information about us on the web."
Agent: "If you resist you will increase your difficulties."
I couldn't hear the Peepie's reply.
Agent: "I can call for backup."
Peepie: "By the time backup gets here, I'll be long gone."
Agent: "I can tackle you."
Peepie: "When I played football in college, they said I couldn't be tackled."
Sounds of a scuffle.
Agent: "This is your blood. Look."
Agent: "I can hit you again. When we arrested a former colleague of yours we had to break his back to get him to cooperate. I can break your back one vertebra at a time. You may never be able to walk upright again."
Peepie: "What happened to him?"
Agent: "We plea-bargained his case down to eight counts. He won't get out of prison until he's in his 90's, at which point he's unlikely to present any kind of threat. He uses a wheelchair to get around when he's allowed to leave his cell. He'll probably never walk normally."
Peepie: "When he gets out, he'll be welcomed back as a hero. He'll be treated like royalty. He won't have to work. He'll be a hero."
Agent's reply was inaudible.
Peepie: "You can't defeat us. There are dozens, hundreds of us ready to take his place. You'll give up. We've seen your memos about cost effectiveness."
Agent: "That concerned an aspect of the program which has since been discontinued as unnecessary."
Peepie: "We understand that the director has expressed dissatisfaction with your investigation."
Agent: "On the contrary, the director has indicated that he's pleased with our progress."
Peepie: "You don't understand the scope of Our Construct. It's been built to last for generations. Someone will take my place within hours."
Agent: "How so?"
Peepie: "When we go on an assignment, we leave a phone number where we can be called at a certain time. If we don't answer, a replacement is sent forthwith."
Agent: "I suppose you never thought you'd be sitting where you are now. You've added twenty years to your already lengthy sentence. The court does not look lightly on resisting arrest, nor does the court look lightly on attempted murder."
Peepie: "What about my affairs?"
Agent: "Generally, the court assigns an executor, and the executor's fees are taken out of the estate."
Peepie: "The court does that?"
Agent: "Of course. We can't let those to whom you owe obligations suffer just because you're a miscreant."If the Peepie had anything more to say, I couldn't hear it.
Agent: "Everything you've said has been recorded. We record everything that happens during an arrest in order to protect ourselves against allegations of undue force.
"We'll wait for the ambulance. You'll be examined for skull fractures. You'd better hope you don't have any. The complications can be quite unpleasant. Sit there. Don't move. Understand, I have the legal authority to hit you as many times as are necessary to subdue you."
Sound of an siren. A male voice orders, "Strap him here."
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